Friday, January 7, 2011

Not Real

I kind of wonder when it's going to hit me. When I'm going to realize that I'm actually actually going to a foreign country, and that I'm really really going to live there for four hopefully spectacular months. Because it hasn't yet, even though I leave in less than three days. I mean, rationally I know I'm going to Ireland. I know that mid-Monday, I'll be crossing Sagamore Bridge on my way to the airport. I know that by early Tuesday morning, I'll be in Ireland. But it doesn't feel like that. I feel like I'm still living my life as usual on Cape Cod, and that when I leave it, I'll just be on my way to Vermont, of course, because that's how it goes.

When I first started college, I didn't think I'd study abroad. I wanted to, but I didn't think I'd be able to because of the cost, so I didn't much think about it at all. But when I found out that my college had a teeny campus in Ireland, and that it costs exactly what it does to go to normal Champlain, that sounded doable. So, I applied. But even then, I didn't really think I'd get in. I figured that probably everyone was applying, and since there's technically limited spaces, there was no chance I'd get in, ever. I figured only really awesome people actually got to study abroad. People to whom life comes as easily as a smile. Not me. I was almost amazed when I actually did get in, even though, as far as I know, everyone who applied was accepted. All of that was ages ago, but it-- the fact that Ireland's actually happening-- still feels like a fairy tale. Like I'll wake up to find that all of this was just a dream. I mean, I know that's cliche, but I think some cliches are only cliches because they're true so often.

Anyway, before I bore all of you with my basically incoherent ramblings, here's what I'm leaving:

West Dennis Beach. Not the Cape's prettiest beach, but it has a little board walk that's perfect when you don't want to get your boots all sandy. Beaches are best without shoes, but it's not quite bare feet weather. You know, though, in May, when I get back, it will be.

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