When most people procrastinate, they do it on the internet, with their essays minimized and just a click away. This, however, is wicked lame. Almost as lame as their essay. I mean, say for whatever reason, one of your friends just desperately wants to know how you spent your Sunday night. You don't really want to end up saying, "Yeah, Facebook. And Stumble Upon. And Facebook. And then I wanted some Antoine Dodson. Then more Facebook. And then I finished my essay at 8:00. Sucked." Nah. What you want to say is, "yeah, dude, I went out and learned how to juggle three swashbuckling bears with throwing stars, and then I went to Hogwarts and Dumbledore, after I brought him back from the dead, bought me exactly eighty hundred things of butter beer, all of which I finished. And then, Dumbledore wrote my essay for me. It was chill. I'm wicked stoked, right now."
Admittedly, I don't actually know how to do any of that stuff. So, if any of you figure it out, you need to tell me. I really wanna go to Hogwarts. Anyway, here are some much more awesome ways to procrastinate that you can do:
Change your Apples to Apples Cards. Seriously, who cares about Anthony Hopkins and Corn on the Cob? Um, yeah, no one. But what if every card was as good as a Hellen Keller card? Yeah, you can do that.
Paint your Laptop with Nail Polish. Fuck it. Paint everything with nail polish. Your dresser, desk, bed, the walls. The carpet. Yeah, I mean, it'll probably will come off later, with nail polish remover. Probs.
Run to the Store and Grab Ice Cream. You can't do work when you're eating, right? Especially ice cream. And chocolate. I'm pretty sure there's some rule against it.
Go on a Walk. Nature's fucking awesome. And pretty. And sometimes you see really great things, like incredibly fantastic sunsets, and old men skateboarding while their dogs run along, barking at the skate boards. So, just do it.
Go to a Playground and Play on the Swings. Doitdoitdoitdoitdoit. 'Kay?
(PS. I'm procrastinating right now.)