Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Oh, Twilight

Me, freshman year of college. I don't remember why I took that picture. I think I was just really bored. Really, ridiculously, exceptionally bored.

Pretty much everything about Twilight amuses me. The fangirls (and, oh my God, Twilight Moms) can be hysterical. And then the people who absolutely despise Twilight and everything it stands for. You know, they're almost as bad.

Back in high school, I adored Twilight. Really. I might have read the series (remember, this was back when there were only three books) twice in one week, I loved it so much. I would read them during school, when I knew I wouldn't get caught. I mostly did that in Latin, because compared to the other kids in that class (oh, we really had some good times), I was totally an angel and I could get away with anything. I mean, there was a reason I got the Latin award twice in a row, and seeing as my translation technique was, "look up the word in the latin dictionary and guess where it might possibly fit into the sentence," that reason had nothing to do with either talent or any particular effort.

But, yeah, I really really really really really liked Twilight. And I liked Edward even more.

Honestly, I think it must be wired in teenage girls' brains to totally obsess over things. Because there were a lot of us who wanted Edward Cullen.

Around the time that the fourth book came out, I started treating Twilight more like a ridiculous joke. I mean, if any of you have read Breaking Dawn, you'll know how beautifully terrible it is. And sketchy. And pedophile-y. And skeevy. But, you know, you can't stop reading it, because you just have to know what completely insane thing will happen next. Like that, it's perfect in its awfulness. But, really, Breaking Dawn is the only book out the four that I would definitely (unconditionally and irrevocably) call bad literature. Not that I actually see anything wrong with reading bad literature. Bad writing can be incredibly fun, and I think that's what people forget. Reading is supposed to be enjoyable, and if anyone finds Twilight enjoyable for any reason in the world, then there is nothing wrong with that.


Middle aged moms crushing on Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson? That's really almost unforgivably sketchy. (I'm thinking that maybe they're thinking that if it's okay for a seventeen year old werewolf to fall in love with a rapidly aging creepy demon baby thing, it's okay for them to fall in love with the actor playing said werewolf. It's the only explanation, and even it only works if the moms in question have absolutely no grip on anything nearing reality. Or if they're Stephenie Meyer.)

And I don't know how many of you have heard about "Cullenism," the religion of Twilight, but it's wicked weird. And cult-like. I mean, "Cullenites," don't live in a commune or anything, but I'm pretty sure that's mostly because eleven year olds are the only ones who literally worship Twilight, and they still have to live with their parents. I hope they're the only ones who do, at least. If you want to read more about it, its website is: And it's fantastic.

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