Okay, so I need help on this one! Do the stanzas work? I mean they all take place in different places, with different people, but does that work? And is it obvious that the stanzas are still all about the same subject? And, any advice for anything?
***
2:22 rushed in through the window shades
with sirens and lights flashing hollow, urgent ribbons.
A girl sat quiet on the bed.
She’d been trying too long for dreams
and she couldn’t shut her ears
even after the jumbled life cries flew away.
Cars drove by the twisted, sprained metal,
headlights stared at it, a gallery,
engines wondered.
Blinking night owls murmured curious sympathies,
knowing the rain will fall soon enough.
The kids laughed together in their hoodied huddle,
clinging to their Dunkin’ Donuts cups against
frosty sunrise air. They whispered flickers
of this time and that time
and hanging on rollercoasters one last time,
before winter suspended all life in the air.
They didn’t know, yet.
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